Anyone that has read Meathenge for any length of time knows that I love photography or digital capture and food. This has been the case for more than 35 years, a little more. Out of passion and the plea from my friends & family I set up my blog (actually my sister did) so they’d stop getting routine emails from me showing them what I was eating and they were not. This was back in ’03, a young blogger was born. It was tough for me to not give people a hard time about their images, I bit my tongue. More often than not though I ended up sticking my comments where they didn’t belong. Such is life and I learned my lesson, learned the zen of enjoying people for who they were and what they presented. It’s actually pretty peaceful to watch bloggers grow in both craft and voice, I love it.
Earlier today Jlee sent me this Wikipedia entry and I’ve been getting madder and madder as the minutes roll by. It offends me on every level that I hold sacred, food, photography and respect for the internet. What pushed me over the edge was the fact that the author of this post on WikiP actually published what he did to achieve such a wonderful shot. At this point picture me kicking tin cans around the yard hurling obscenities to the universe.
At first, it was the art, the photography that made my bowels erupt. Bite my tongue, but the blast of light from one direction and the fact the author went out of his way to edit out the shadows? Okay, let’s remove any depth or perception. The lone strawberry with red smudges on the plate? This lead me to the store bought sliced bread with uneven toasting and bacon that’s clearly been seared to near black death. My eye then went to the “tablecloth”? Why not just toss your wet dream stained bed sheets for luster, would have been more interesting. Not to me of course, but some people pay a lot of money for such things. Where’s the mayo? Where’s the black pepper and crystals of salt to glisten? Hot sauce? How the hell is one fricken little ‘berry going to add nutrition, happy breakfast or for crissakes Chi !!! GAHHHH !!!
Okay, so sure the fact the author published his editations pushed me further, but why you’re seeing this here to day is the fact he published this hideous monster on Wikipedia. That sealed the deal, he stepped over the line. This instantly went from a friendly food blogger type of situation to a worldwide encyclopedia entry that states this as truth and love both in the culinary arts and digital capture.
Don’t give me, “But the yolk is the perfect color and runny looking”. You know damned well this “human” needs to be drawn and quartered. Oh sure, I can hear your response, “Alright smart guy, if you think you can do better, go ahead.” Charley Manson could do better, don’t mess with Manson pal. In the last 7 years I’ve never, ever seen a food blogger do this poorly. We rule, you suck and I’m here to testify that I can totally kick your ass. Get this shit off the Wiki and leave us alone, hate doesn’t even remotely describe the feelings I’m having at this moment.
The Good Reverend Doctor Biggles