File: Bacon and egg sandwish – open face

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Anyone that has read Meathenge for any length of time knows that I love photography or digital capture and food. This has been the case for more than 35 years, a little more. Out of passion and the plea from my friends & family I set up my blog (actually my sister did) so they’d stop getting routine emails from me showing them what I was eating and they were not. This was back in ’03, a young blogger was born. It was tough for me to not give people a hard time about their images, I bit my tongue. More often than not though I ended up sticking my comments where they didn’t belong. Such is life and I learned my lesson, learned the zen of enjoying people for who they were and what they presented. It’s actually pretty peaceful to watch bloggers grow in both craft and voice, I love it.
Earlier today Jlee sent me this Wikipedia entry and I’ve been getting madder and madder as the minutes roll by. It offends me on every level that I hold sacred, food, photography and respect for the internet. What pushed me over the edge was the fact that the author of this post on WikiP actually published what he did to achieve such a wonderful shot. At this point picture me kicking tin cans around the yard hurling obscenities to the universe.
At first, it was the art, the photography that made my bowels erupt. Bite my tongue, but the blast of light from one direction and the fact the author went out of his way to edit out the shadows? Okay, let’s remove any depth or perception. The lone strawberry with red smudges on the plate? This lead me to the store bought sliced bread with uneven toasting and bacon that’s clearly been seared to near black death. My eye then went to the “tablecloth”? Why not just toss your wet dream stained bed sheets for luster, would have been more interesting. Not to me of course, but some people pay a lot of money for such things. Where’s the mayo? Where’s the black pepper and crystals of salt to glisten? Hot sauce? How the hell is one fricken little ‘berry going to add nutrition, happy breakfast or for crissakes Chi !!! GAHHHH !!!
Okay, so sure the fact the author published his editations pushed me further, but why you’re seeing this here to day is the fact he published this hideous monster on Wikipedia. That sealed the deal, he stepped over the line. This instantly went from a friendly food blogger type of situation to a worldwide encyclopedia entry that states this as truth and love both in the culinary arts and digital capture.
Don’t give me, “But the yolk is the perfect color and runny looking”. You know damned well this “human” needs to be drawn and quartered. Oh sure, I can hear your response, “Alright smart guy, if you think you can do better, go ahead.” Charley Manson could do better, don’t mess with Manson pal. In the last 7 years I’ve never, ever seen a food blogger do this poorly. We rule, you suck and I’m here to testify that I can totally kick your ass. Get this shit off the Wiki and leave us alone, hate doesn’t even remotely describe the feelings I’m having at this moment.
Yours truly,
The Good Reverend Doctor Biggles

19 thoughts on “File: Bacon and egg sandwish – open face

  1. Dude, I read this so close to after your posting, it was still shaking around from so much pure venom that it was hard to focus on the words. Damn!
    But I am with you on the total lack in quality of photo. Now, I’m not professing to do anything better, but indeed, it shows you for some simpletons out there, a picture that is merely a representation of what it states, will suffice.
    But do remember the “wiki” part. It can be edited……

  2. Seen you haven’t posted in a few days, worried about you, then saw that DAMNED SPOT–strawberry smudge actually–and thought, “Biggles has lost it!”
    Thank goodness I kept reading and realized it weren’t you that posted that pic to wikipedia.
    Then it got good, you paid your respects and condolences, laid out your case, stood four-square in defense of all that is civilized and threw down the gauntlet to the whore-son zed who dares to bear a spatula (little bit of King Lear’s Kent there…).
    Keep fighting the good fight Dr.
    The more I look at that pic, the madder I get.
    p.s. Google youtube for Tom Keller’s “best sandwich ever”. Its not the best sandwich ever, but he is making a bacon and egg sandwich. The care the man puts into his late night snack is a wonder to behold. Bread is hand sliced–correctly. Spread is smoothed evenly and completely on the slices. Egg is perfectly cooked. He then lets one of the celebrity bone-heads put the bacon on and they mess that up! Keller corrects them and shows them how to make sure all the skin side of the bacon all face the same way–makes the bite of the samwich more even…
    Point is, attention to detail MATTERS! and that aint even taking into account all the fancy stuff like photography etc.
    best of luck glad you are still bloggin.

  3. and another thing…
    What makes a man think he can dis a perfectly good strawberry with that get up?

  4. Kill the bastard. I’ve only been doing this for a few months and I’m smart enough to know better ( I hope). Thanks Biggs!

  5. I thought you would be distracted by the cartoons I sent AFTER I sent the picture. A-pare-ntly not. Get your rant on!

  6. OMG! I thought at first the pic was from Mrs. Doran’s second semester kindergarten class that does cooking lab every Friday!

  7. Dude, that abortion is NOT a Wikipedia entry. It is a Wikimedia Commons entry. The difference? Wikipedia proper is an open-source encyclopedia. A Wikipedia entry therefore is supposedly definitive. Wikimedia Commons, by contrast, is a storehouse of digital content made available for others to use without being liable for licensing fees. A Wikimedia Commons entry is simply a photo or philm or MP3 or whatever that’s available under a no-fee license to anyone who cares to make use of it (for instance, in a blog entry on how not to photograph food – or, for that matter, to make a bacon-and-egg sandwich).

    And, having said that, there is no doubt that that unappetizing offering at the top of this page represents amateurism in both foodcraft and photography.

  8. Hi Cookie,
    Oh, that would be an exceptionally long time friend of mine from the dark ages. This is his nature. For whatever reason he hasn’t been on here in eons, he lurks!
    xo, Biggles

  9. Oh Cookie. Naw, I met Mr. Member back in about ’89, he and his wife used to live in El Cerrito, moved many times since then and they’re now in Ohio. He was on Jeopardy!
    xo, Biggles

  10. Nice. Though this post may have had more “crotch punch” if it hadn’t been done on a Mac. Look at the pretty scroll bar!