“How come they don’t want our ribs, Papa?”

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It was just me and Tiny E on Sunday, we had plans. One of which was installing and making right our new 55 gallon fresh water aquarium, the other? Smoking a slab of babybacks in the wood fired pit. That post will be up here soon, but it’s what happened after we smoked the ribs that shook us both and forced me to spill my guts here. I just need to get this off my chest.
See, we got the ribs smoked perfectly, Tiny E tends a good fire. I pulled them to rest for about 20 before I cut in. Holy crap they were good, real good. The smoke was gentle, but definitely full of deep tangles worth of flavors. Meat was tender, tasteful & beautiful all at the same time. But I could only eat about 1/3 to 1/2 the rack myself, Tiny E don’t eat much so that portion don’t count. What to do, what to do.
Give it to neighbors! I sliced up the ribs, so they could eat them right away, nothing impaired, no fuss. Rip the foil open and dig in, that was my mission.
Yeah well, all the neighbors I know were gone, out and just plain not there. All except for, Those Neighbors. Who are they? I got no idea, truly. I’ve been here 8 years and never once exchanged any verbal communication. OH sure, there was the initial smiling and waving, but they returned a dead stare with a finish of moving on as though I wasn’t there. I know who the owner is, and he’s got roomates. I can see their good people, exceptionally well built, hunks if you will. Different women coming and going each month. But they communicate with nobody, it’s as if we don’t exist. K, got it?
After checking out my friendly neighbors, I noticed one of the roomies at Those Neighbors house and his girlfriend were out on the front stoop having a light conversation in the early evening light. It was calm and I figured I’m holding some solid, “Howdee neighbor! I have quality hardwood smoked pork ribs here if’n you’d like to partake” type of greeting. I was on a mission (remember?), after 8 years they were going to know who I am, or was or whatever.
Um, do you own a dog? Do you know someone who owns a dog? Picture this neighbor roomy saying “NO” to me as though I was a dog at the table begging for scraps. By the second “NO” I grabbed my booty, the boy and I left to our warm, happy abode. As we were walking back home Tiny E said to me, “How come they don’t want our ribs, Papa?” In a hushed tone I replied, “Because they’re vegetarians honey.” Tiny E sighed and said under his breath, “That’s too bad Papa, that’s too bad.”
I replied in a Ward Cleaver sort of way, “That’s okay honey, in this country we can treat others very badly because of our personal beliefs. It has nothing to do with respect or courtesy, they’re making a statement about how they feel about something. Sometimes it doesn’t matter if they kill other people, animals or harm them in a very bad way. They feel their views are right and just, so it’s okay for them.”
Tiny E responded with a quick, “Um, yeah but we got the ribs.”
xo, Biggles

13 thoughts on ““How come they don’t want our ribs, Papa?”

  1. ‘Tis well and truly a same when a man bearing an earnest gift gets treated worse than a stray dog.
    Says a lot about the time we live in, y’know? And as a father of three, I very much admire the way you dealt with E’s lack of understanding. Lot of people would’ve been awful quick to paint them out to be the rude a$$es that they are, without regard to the impression that makes on the kid. He’ll learn enough hard lessons later on, might as well spare him one now and again.
    Peace on you,
    J

  2. New sign over front door……
    WELCOME TO VEGETARIAN HELL!
    (New quote of the day, thanks Lesley)

  3. Guess, now you know why you’ve never gotten to know them in 8 years of neighborness. Let em be. Tiny E’s got it right. Some folks don’t know a treasure if they hold it in their hands.
    Now do a brisket and send some smoke their way.

  4. I think they are mad because I did a “Drive-by-Bacon” delivery early in the morning with Black Bart. Black Bart has been known to wake people out a sound sleep.

  5. BrooklynQ is right…And I so admire what you told Tiny E. You are a good father and he will remember this experience (as Sarah would say), you betcha!

  6. Well,
    How stupid can you get?
    If I had neighbours coming over with ribs or any other such fare, I would greet them with open arms.
    I would also have beers waiting in return, just to say thanks.
    Well handled, Dr!

  7. I live in the Point and would be happy for ribs any day, I’ll come and get any time. Your son sounds sweet and you sound like a great neighbor to have. Any houses for sale in your hood? My husband and I are looking to buy!

  8. Hey Megan,
    Oddly enough, we have a GREAT street. I bought and moved in Jan of ’00 and haven’t regretted it in the least. I also have THE best realestate agent ever, if’n yer interested. I went through 7 before I found her, it was tough.
    And, thank you for the kind words!
    Biggles

  9. Biggles,
    From what I can figure we are already looking in your area, but would be interested to know about your street,if you were willing. Happily we do happen to have a great agent already, lucked out 1st try!

  10. Hey Megan,
    You can contact me at drbiggles at cyberbilly dot com, if’n you so choose. My family has been in the area since 1946, so can give you an information about neighborhoods and schools. I’m on 39th street, between Clinton and Solano. There is a home for sale, but it looks funky from the outside. You may or may not be able to deal with upgrades or renovations, but the block is GREAT. Richmond is interesting, it isn’t so much about the area or neighborhood. Even just the block and neighbors around you can make or break the deal. 39th is great, 40th is splotchy.
    Biggles