Brush, brush, brush your way to a thinner new you! Appetite Control Toothpaste

It says there, “The World’s First! Appetite Control Toothpaste.
What the hell ?!?! My first thought was, “Do we really need this?” And then, I figured, “Of course we do, look! It’s right there!” And yet it’s already on the clearance isle. Har har har.
I’ve been here at the keyboard over the last few minutes. Wrote down a few paragraphs, then erased paragraphs. This is so pathetic ol’ Biggles is rant free. All I can figure is that someone was looking out for the tweakers. Now speed freaks can have good teeth too. Cause you know that’s the only idiot that’d consider it. So, the next time you see some unbathed, shaky, wild eyed creature with a toothbrush in their hip pocket, check their smile. You’ll have the 411 and you saw it first at Meathenge.
xo, Biggles

5 thoughts on “Brush, brush, brush your way to a thinner new you! Appetite Control Toothpaste

  1. Isn’t all toothpaste appetite control? I don’t know about you, but I don’t feel like eating a damn thing after brushing my teeth with da normal stuff. This is kinda like re-packaging something and then selling it to you again, but claiming it has different attributes when its really the same. How post-modern I guess……

  2. Meth paste. Why didn’t I think of that? Okay, here’s my idea. Dryer sheet toothpaste. Ah, that won’t work. People probably already just chew them like gum.

  3. Ugh. As if toothpaste wasn’t nasty-tasting enough already. But… aren’t you supposed to not swallow it?