Oscar Mayer Fully Cooked Bacon – wtf?

This last weekend I made it in to our local, pretty large, grocery mart. I required a few things that Omar, 2008’s shopkeeper of the year award worthy, didn’t stock. I perused the isles of said largish mart, and there were products in attendance that were noticeably not there previously. What struck me first was the Bariani Extra Virgin, my favorite green extra virgin. Then, opposite that, on the top shelf I spied a jar of Marmite? Red Mill flour! 3 times the organic produce (Feel Good crap, but even so), the list goes on. I don’t care that much, and grab my 3 paper sacks (for $110.00) and skeedaddle.
I was left with this haunting thought, “That store doesn’t suck as much as it did a few months ago.” I won’t be frequenting any more than I did last week, but damn an shit. Ya know? Even way out in El Sobrante, where the demographics meander. Maybe, ever so slowly, things could very well be looking up.
Then Ear Ache wanders in to work with this in tow. A box of Oscar Mayer Fully Cooked Bacon, wtf? I suppose it’s kind of a relief, knowing that The Man is still a fucking idiot and has about as much cohesive thought as a near death, bed ridden, 5 legged badger on morphine. But I have my hopes ya know. Or maybe this is their attempt at making a technological advancement up and over from bacon bits. The world may never know.
I can see there’s a heading, or direction. But where are they going? Do they even bother to look? This my good people, be some rhetorical questions.

7 thoughts on “Oscar Mayer Fully Cooked Bacon – wtf?

  1. Handicapped? I’d like to say, Reality Challenged.
    Uh, no. I forgot to mention, there’s a little window in the back where you can actually SEE the product. As though they gave it a little window to watch the world go by. It looked like cooked bacon, kinda flat, evenly cooked. Scary.

  2. Here’s a rhetorical answer: Cranky is, at this very moment, out shopping for Kraft Macaroni & Cheese CRACKERS. In a blue box.

  3. What about the leftover bacon grease that you cook your eggs in, or use to coat your cast-iron or pour over your dog’s kibbles? The aroma that fills the house and causes most to go weak in the knees? If you can’t take 10 minutes to cook up some bacon you should probably re-evaluate your entire life.